I'm (Not) Doing Fine

Pagi ini bangun dengan kepala migren. Kemarin saya menghabiskan hari dengan mondar-mandir ke toilet gara-gara dua butir pencahar.

Ussy mengetuk pintu toilet berkali-kali ketika saya tidak segera keluar.
"Retno! Retno!" Serunya cemas.
"Tenang! Gue masih hidup! Nggak bakal bunuh diri!"

Saya nggak akan bunuh diri. Apalagi di dalam toilet. Nggak elit amat. Kalaupun saya mau bunuh diri, saya akan mendaki gunung di malam berbadai sampai kena hipothermia. Atau masuk ke gua vertikal berair dan menunggu ular boa penghuninya melahap saya bulat-bulat. Itu baru 'gue banget.'

Lagi pula kenapa sih mengira saya mau bunuh diri segala?

..........

You've got a way about you
From the moment you walk into the room
Every time, I have to watch myself so you won't see
That looking at you smiling at me makes it hard to breathe

I've never been so open, but sitting here with you
It's just so easy
Listening to your laugh, it's so breezy
I want to make these moments last forever...

Because with you, I don't have to try
With you, I know the reason why
I can be whoever I want to be
It's a beautiful feeling, to finally start believing
That I can be me, that you can see me
When I'm with you

You never know when love comes along
But listen, don't you hear it playing our song?
What would you do if I asked you to dance?
What's so bad about just letting things happen?

I've never been so open, but sitting here with you
It's just so easy
Listening to your laugh, it's so breezy
I want to make these moments last forever...

Because with you, I don't have to try
With you, I know the reason why
I can be whoever I want to be
It's a beautiful feeling, to finally start believing
That I can be me, that you can see me
When I'm with you

If I told you how I felt, would that change a thing?
Because the more of you I know, the more I want to tell you everything

I've never been so open, but sitting here with you
It's just so easy
Listening to your laugh, it's so breezy
I want to make these moments last forever...

Because with you, I don't have to try
With you, I know the reason why
I can be whoever I want to be
It's a beautiful feeling, to finally start believing
That I can be me, that you can see me
When I'm with you

Because with you, I don't have to try
With you, I know the reason why
I can be whoever I want to be
It's a beautiful feeling, to finally start believing
That I can be me, that you can see me
When I'm with you

....

Bukan. Bukan. Puisi di atas bukan untuk pacar saya. Dia sudah terlalu banyak saya beri tulisan yang indah-indah. Dan ngomong-ngomong, saya masih bete. Lagi malas cinta-cintaan.

Itu buat kalian saja, yang sedang jatuh cinta pada seseorang. Saya menemukan tulisan itu di blog Melissa Blake. Blog yang semakin menyadarkan saya untuk tidak menghakimi seseorang karena penampilan luarnya. Bahwa keindahan fisik dan keindahan jiwa tidak selalu seiring sama.

Penasaran? Kunjungi sendiri Miss Blake di blognya yang indah.

Sudah dulu ya. Selamat tinggal. Saya mau pergi.
Bukan. Bukan mau bunuh diri. Saya mau ke supermarket. Tiba-tiba kepingin makan Pringles.